Soap Doppelgängers #1: Henk and Jens Lehmann
Ahh, how soaps bring out the best and worst in me...
This week saw two life-changing diagnoses in Soapland and I couldn't have felt more differently about them. Susan was finally diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis on Neighbours and it was all terribly sad. From Karl breaking down in the middle of the street to Susan freaking out during her MRI, I was gutted; taking solace only in the fact that Susan isn't dying. In Home and Away, however, Cassie and Henk's sudden sense of elation looks set to fall down around their ears after Henk was unexpectedly diagnosed as HIV Positive - and it's great! Now Cassie and her unborn baby probably have it too. Hahaha. Take that, Human Carrot!
And if you think I'm being a dick to wish HIV+ on a nice young lady and her unborn child I suppose I can understand why, but I would argue that you're missing out on one of the greatest pleasures being a soap fan has to offer. Soap is one of the only arenas in all of fiction in which the characters are so inherently temporary and unimportant that you are actually encouraged to treat them as pieces of fiction. If you don't like them, the horrible and brutal demise you wish for them is simply a part of the necessary creative process. So when I say, "I hate Cassie and I hope she contracts full-blown AIDS" I assure you it is perfectly acceptable.
Either that or I'm sociopath....
Elsewhere in Erinsborough: Ringo's mother left her child to deal with his eating disorder because he signed a contract that started with the words, "I, Ringo Brown, being of sound mind...". What a genius this woman is. Mickey acted Ben off the screen as we discovered his parents are (a) a bitch and (b) a gormless moron (good luck to that kid). Rachel and Ringo broke up for good, Marco and Carmella got closer and Didge had her first kiss with the wheelchair-bound guy who acts exactly like Kim from Home and Away.
Elsewhere in Summer Bay: A nice little love triangle involving Rachel, Tony and Roman started to brew, and one can only hope that the hugely annoying Roman does not win. Sally was freakishly nice to the still-unidentified Milco, Ric and Matilda broke up "for good" and Reverend Hall looked ready to drive Annie off the edge of a cliff. He'd better not. Attacking Sam is easy enough to forgive, sure, but if anything happens to Annie I'll be pissed off. That kid is the closest thing we have to a Tasha at the moment and I want her to stick around.
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