Aussie Soap Round-Up (w/e 30th May 2008)

° The wheels were put in motion for Harold's departure from Neighbours and quite frankly it doesn't bear thinking about. Instead, we can focus on what the hell Toadie was reading when Harold came to see him about selling his house. Maybe Steph's hesitance to marry Toadie stemmed from a subconscious awareness that she may not be what he wants, and not the other way around...

Toadie in gay porn shocker?

° Having fled town after breaking Toadie's heart, Steph got thrown under the bus by the council and publicly blamed for the roof collapse disaster. Hah. She said herself that "ignorance is not an excuse" and she is right. It serves her right for being the worst councillor ever. The whole fact that she's a councillor is ridiculous anyway, so seeing her involved in a storyline like this feels likes eating a second helping of a meal you didn't like in the first place. Oh well. At least her trip to Shelley Bay has provided some small respite in the meantime.

° Rebecca leaked the roof collapse details to the press, Elle hung Steph out to dry in the Erinsborough News and Paul cheated on Rebecca with Kirsten: all in all, a bad week in the House of Robinson. And it's a weird situation there generally. The intent of the story is obvious enough (the devil finding work for Paul's idle hands), but the motivation behind Rebecca and Elle's shutting him out of everything is less clear.

Elsewhere in Erinsborough: Didge has been working at the veterinary clinic so long she has caught foot-in-mouth disease, calling Rachel a slag for merely tutoring Declan in math. Oh dear. Lou's having unsettling health problems. Marco and Carmella want to buy Harold's house even though they're both completely unworthy of living on such hallowed ground. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

° In Home and Away, Jack and Martha pulled the classy move of reuniting on the day of Sam's funeral. Nice. What I especially liked though was the way Alf and Tony reacted; Alf surprised but understanding, Tony shocked and appalled. I have a feeling it's a divide that exists in the show's audience too, and I'm interested in what that says about the viewer. Jack and Martha definitely have a Romeo and Juliet thing going on, so what makes more sense for the interested fan: rooting for them to get together and face inevitable tragedy or preferring they stay apart and avoid it? In such a long-term, potentially repetitive narrative, what do we want for our heroes?

° Roman's bratty daughter Nicole finally showed up in the Bay and instantly ruffled the feathers of almost everyone she met. Personally, I haven't decided how I feel about her yet. On one hand she annoys the bejesus out of me with her impossibly high self-confidence and scary forwardness, but on the other hand I do like the idea of her and Aden forming a heel tag-team to rule over Summer Bay High. Now that Aden has moved in to Roman's place I expect there'll be a fair bit of sparring between the two.


Frenemies?

° Jazz seemed to be everywhere this week, and that's a great thing. If she's around for too long she'll be homogenised into a typical Summer Bay resident, but for now it's great to have a character who has unique personal values and isn't ashamed of them. It looks like Miles is her next mission.

Elsewhere in Summer Bay: Ric convinced Mattie to come to his next fight. The Den opened and looks really rubbish. Melody finally forgave Geoff for not being madly in love with her. Morag stayed at Roman's when Martha moved out even though it makes absolutely no sense.

New BB9 House Pictures!

Channel 4 have released the first shots of this year's Big Brother house and I must say it all looks pretty snazzy...

Spacious living area, claustrophobic bedroom, scary kitchen, not-ostentatious-at-all bathroom, pretty colours. Nice. You can see more pictures at DS:BB or at Channel 4's official BB site.

Big Brother 9 starts on June 5th on Channel 4.

Set Your Sky+: Smallville

Smallville (Season 7)

Premiere
Tonight at 9:00pm and 10:00pm on E4

Repeated
As far as I can see, E4+1 is your only option for now
(E4 will probably find a slot for the weekly repeat soon)

I'm not even sure why I'm writing about this, to be honest. If you've never watched Smallville you shouldn't start now, and if you have watched it, it would probably be kinder of me not to remind you. Sadly, folks, Smallville is back for another season of leeching off your comic-book nerditude in spite of its humongous lameness.

The plus side? You'll get to see characters and little oblique references that make you geek out slightly. The down side? Ridiculous stories, annoying characters, poor writing and the worst romance saga ever. You can watch the CW's trailer for the start of this season above and you'll get the picture immediately. "Bizarro! Yay! Bad dialogue! *groan* Lana Lang! *groan* Lana Lang being blown up! Yay!" It's a tumultuous ride.

At least it can't get worse, right?

Right?

Can't Stop The Signal, Mal...

Number one sign your TV blogging operation remains a very amateurish pursuit? You can't watch TV because a bloody big tree blocks off your satellite signal every time the wind blows. Fifteen hours worth of TV I'd planned into record this weekend? "Part Rec: No Signal". Aggghhh.

Here's a quick few catch-up thoughts for the mean-time...

° I noted my concerns after the first episode, but ten episodes in and Nip/Tuck's fifth season (Tuesdays, FX) has just been embarrassingly awful so far. Everything the move to L.A. seemed to promise has been reneged on; there's just as much Julia and Matt nonsense as there ever was, Rosie O'Donnell's all over the shop and Shawn and Christian are playing host to an even more far-fetched and ridiculous list of clients. Worst of all, though, it seems to have lost the desire to be anything more than a salacious soap opera. Gone are the often crude but still valuable reflections on the characters' relationships, gone are the more challenging themes. It's just gotten ridiculously shallow and uninteresting. I am shocked by the fact that I had heard so much positive reaction in advance.

° Peep Show's fifth season (Fridays, Channel 4) has been predictably fantastic so far, with the emboldened Mark a particular delight. Taking on burglars, getting all Secretary with Dobby in the stationary cupboard - what's next? The good news is that Channel 4 - and perhaps more importantly, Mitchell, Webb, Armstrong and Bain - know they're on to a good thing and have all agreed to go ahead with a sixth season. Yay. That means Peep Show will have doubled the output of shows like The Office and Spaced. 24 episodes! Watch out Seinfeld, eh?

° I was generally positive about Dirty Sexy Money (Fridays, Channel 4) when it first started but now its prematurely-ended first season has finished, I'm not so sure. I love Peter Krause, Donald Sutherland is mesmerising and I also really enjoy the performance of Natalie Zea, but the show feels pretty much like a more male-oriented Desperate Housewives. There's murder and intrigue and sex and comedy, but it exists in a world it never really explores, and I'm already slightly bored of it. It's another pretty ABC prime-time soap opera.


° JD as The World's Most Giant Doctor might not the only one standing on other people's shoulders on Scrubs (Thursdays, E4) this year. The other day I recognised JD's monologue on growing up as an almost verbatim reading from Nick Hornby's Fever Pitch. Still, Scrubs' seventh season has been better than I'd expected considering its poor sixth season, so maybe it has justified its last hurrah.

° I'm finally catching up on Gavin and Stacey thanks to the BBC's re-airing of the entire series (Mondays, BBC Three). I won't lie to you, readers...I enjoy it very much. It's not the sharpest comedy around, but it is wholly likeable. Roll on, Lesbian Vampire movie?

Aussie Soap Round-Up (w/e 23th May 2008)

I...umm...err....how 'bout dem Knicks, eh?

° I'm not sure Steph would describe it as idyllic, but from a personal standpoint Toadie and Steph's aborted wedding went as well as one could have ever hoped for. Almost literally ° I'm not sure Steph would describe it as idyllic, but from a personal standpoint Toadie and Steph's umming and ahhing when she was supposed to recite her vows, Toadie finally found the sense to call the whole thing off and leave Steph standing there racked with guilt about her embarrassing uncertainty and cowardice. It's actually been a really great story for Neighbours from the start and this was a worthy climax.

° Marco finally admitted to Carmella that he couldn't have children and there seems to be a mild undercurrent questioning whether he got together with Carmella purely because she was pregnant. That seems kind of crazy to me. I mean, I don't think that's the case anyway, but is that something a guy who couldn't have children would ever do? Hit on a pregnant chick to immediately fill that void? Very strange.

Elsewhere in Erinsborough: Ollie and Mia started sneaking around, Paul started flirting with Kirsten and Susan went away to an MS retreat having collapsed yet again. Rosie also collapsed (pregnancy, not MS) and Frazer ran over Bob.

° In Home and Away, Morag seems to have proven that Sam committed suicide with the intention of framing Jack and Martha for murder, thus ending the whole whodunnit drama in the space of a week. To say I am gobsmacked is an understatement. Since when does Home and Away deal with things quickly and efficiently??


I am Jack's smirking revenge

° Ric Dalby - or Lion-O as I have taken to calling him until he gets his hair cut - got a taste of bare-knuckle fighting and really enjoyed it. Home and Away did a good job in skipping the fight; actually seeing it would have made the idea that Ric could have beaten that guy even more unbelievable. Still, you can see there's plenty more to come in this story. Most likely: whiny Matilda.

Elsewhere in Summer Bay: The Pier Diner opened unrealistically quickly. Geoff verbally destroyed and humiliated the clingy Melody in front of loads of people at school and it was hilarious. Leah came up with the name "Idantity Crisis" for the new drop-in centre but thankfully got talked around by Miles, who instead suggested "The Den".

Seacrest, Seacrest...damn your Seacrest!

The Cook with no taste celebrates his victory.

To say I've been unreliable and infrequent with my comments on American Idol (Thursday/Friday, ITV2) would be an understatement, but now that it's all over I'll give a few of my thoughts on this year's show...

° I was actually shocked to see David Cook win (in a good way), and the main thing I take from that is how great it is to watch one of these shows without the media furore that comes with it. Without actively seeking it out, we in the UK are spared all the speculation and gossip so we get to watch it like a TV show rather than the circus it often becomes. No stories of happy-slapping contestants, no understanding of geographical voting patterns, no idiotic feuding between headline-hungry judges, no eliminated contestants all over the place - there's just the show. It makes a very nice change from The X-Factor.

° ITV2's handling of the show was tremendous throughout the series. What in previous years had proven a laborious few hours of fast-forwarding through voting reminders, garbage filler and (Lord help us) Cat Deeley became a much more manageable and enjoyable proposition. Bravo to whomever is responsible for the streamlined edit.

° I totally hated the new set. Putting the band up in the rafters does not make any sense.

° "Celebrate me home" is a ridiculous lyric. I couldn't sit through a single closing montage entirely because of it.

° Allowing contestants to play instruments was a great move both in terms of the TV show and the competition. Hopefully it’ll be encouraged even more next year.

° For weeks I have been saying that I could no longer take Archuleta seriously because he reminds me too much of Kermit the Frog's little nephew Robin. Imagine my delight when I saw that for the first song of the finale they had him start his song dressed all in green and sitting on a staircase. Brilliant.

° It's funny to me that some people are complaining about the use of teleprompters in the finale. Firstly, with all the different performances both Cook and Archuleta were involved in over the final two nights surely it's too tough an ask for them remember everything without any help. Secondly, why does anyone even care?

So yeah…

I guess the reason I didn’t write about it as much as I’d expected is purely because there wasn’t much to say. As a TV show American Idol is the same as it ever was and you either enjoy it or you don’t. Personally, I'm already looking forward to next year's Idol far more than I'm looking forward to this year's X-Factor.

Aussie Soap Round-Up (w/e 16th May 2008)

Kate Ritchie as Sally Fletcher 1988-2008

Mixed feelings from the Bay this week, as Home and Away bade farewell to perhaps its most loved character of all-time and its most recent unbearable nuisance all in the space of two days; Sally Fletcher sadly leaving for pastures new and Sam Holden understandably murdered. It was a big week.

Sally's final episode was a sad, but slightly subdued affair. As I said last week, her exit seems primarily designed to honour her contribution to the show and has consequently lacked any real drama. But saying goodbye to a person who you have seen almost every weekday for 20 years is never going to be that easy, and it's hard to imagine that anyone else will ever maintain that level of involvement in a soap I watch ever again. It's sad to lose one of those little constants in life.

Sam, meanwhile, washed up on the beach, dead, giving us our first big Home and Away whodunnit since the brilliant Angie Russell got bumped off a few years ago. Apparently held down by one person, injected with an overdose of heroin by someone else and then dumped into the ocean, my dream scenario is that it was a big conspiracy by all the townsfolk. The people of Summer Bay cruelly and sadistically taking the trash out of their perfect little town, Hot Fuzz style. But that would never happen, of course, so instead we'll have weeks and weeks of slowly surfacing evidence that implicates every individual suspect in turn until someone relatively unimportant is revealed to be the killer. It's alright, though. I'm sure it'll still be rad. And at least Sam's dead, right?

Elsewhere in Summer Bay: Melody inexplicably assumed she was in a serious relationship with Geoff because he said they were friends. Noel tried to further convince Ric to fight by stealing all his furniture. Aden's shifty dad tried to stop Aden remembering the tiny little matter of his molestation.

Does Neighbours hate women? Well, no, of course it doesn't. But when I look back at the other week and I see Miranda painted as the bad guy for being pissed off about being saddled with $80,000 further debt and then this week I see Rosie painted as completely unreasonable for being scared of having a child I do start to wonder...

Sadly it seems like it's almost over now - Rosie feeling the pull of motherhood after all - but I really enjoyed the concept of the story. Call me a coward, but the idea of having a child is scary, right? The constant, non-stop, matter-of-life-and-death responsibility, the financial pressure, the way it changes the rest of your life. It's a scary thing. And if you're the woman who's going to give birth to it...hell, quite frankly it amazes me that every woman isn't as mortally afraid of motherhood as Rosie was back when the week started. So I must say I found it slightly ridiculous when the usually ultra-cool Frazer came in with his big "if you're not into it, I'll leave you and raise the baby on my own" ultimatum. Seriously. They've just gotten married, an abortion was never really an option (it's Neighbours) and Rosie had only just found out she was pregnant. Jesus. Give the woman a little time before you freak out and start throwing around big ultimatums like that. You have nine months until the baby arrives and you think week one is the appropriate time to throw out "I'll leave you if you don't start acting rationally!". Strange.

It takes me back to the potential anti-feminist nature of Neighbours. Rosie was painted as cold and irrational just because she wasn't sure about having a child. Yeah, I wonder how many essays are already out there about soaps having a massive left-wing agenda. Lots, I imagine.

Elsewhere in Erinsborough: Toadie joined Libby's "Irreplaceable Dead Spouse Club" for a while but made up with Steph anyway. Paul took yet another hobbled step back towards his old self, remembering that being a prick is what Paul Robinson does. Susan got all MS'y again and Rachel got in trouble at school.

Dollhouse Trailer!

I think it's fair to say the trailer looks as if it was casually slung together for the upfronts, but who cares? The first glimpse of a new Whedon show is just about one of the most exciting things that modern TV has to offer...



The biggest shock for me, if I'm being honest, is how bloody great Olivia Williams looks. Sexy, charismatic; she owns that trailer. I'm also pleasantly surprised to see the philosophical aspect of the show being flaunted so early on.

Yes, yes. Very excited.

"Kick her down a staircase and hope for the best"

Although I would describe myself as a staunchly pro-choice person and I have a habit of speaking about abortion with an almost shocking flippancy, I tend to think it's important for people to challenge their beliefs occasionally and it was with that sense of duty that I sat down to watch Abortion: The Choice (Tuesday, BBC2).

A part of the BBC Bare Facts season, it featured five very candid accounts from women who have had abortions. Admirably steering clear of any moral examination but refusing to shirk the upsetting realities of abortion, the film instead focused entirely on the emotional effects of the process, vividly illustrating the difficulty of the choice some women face and - to be honest - making for an hour of just horribly, gut-wrenchingly sad television.

Speaking about how and why they came to their decision, what it was like to undergo the procedure and how it has been to live with their choice ever since, it was certainly an enlightening experience. Unlike most TV documentaries on abortion I've seen, Abortion: The Choice really gave face to the whirlwind of conflicting emotion women face in this situation and forced you to look at your own opinion of abortion, whatever it is, in a new light. The film promised at the beginning that whatever your opinion currently is, it would make you reconsider it. Mission accomplished, I'd say.

Emotional masochists can watch it on BBC iPlayer for the next few days.

"Let me chew on your weird hair..."

° I hate to say it, but Friday Night with Jonathan Ross (Fridays, BBC1) has been really disappointing recently. I've always defended Jonathan Ross against accusations that he's overly reliant on vulgarity, but for the last two weeks the show has actually been slightly uncomfortable, crossing the line from roguishly brash to obnoxious and lecherous. First it was making a point of staring at Kirsty Gallagher’s cleavage all night and the next week it was telling Gwyneth Paltrow - verbatim here, but without the awful frankness - "I would fuck you". Woo! Respect for women. It's actually becoming a small problem with the show. So many of his recent interviews have started with "you're a very attractive man/woman", and each time the pattern follows: for a man it turns to celebrating his sexual prowess and for a woman it only turns to highlighting her sexual value to men. It's like TV from the 70's but without the standards.

And I know I probably sound like I'm taking things too seriously and that it's only meant for a laugh, but the biggest problem I actually have with it is that it's just not that funny. It's one of those "And this offends you as a Jewish person?" / "No, it offends me as a comedian" type things. Ross is a funny and intelligent presenter; slipping into this base routine reeks of laziness, and that’s the disappointment. All we’re really learning about recent guests is how tolerant and good-humoured they can be, and that’s not enough.

° I really enjoyed BBC2’s Am I Normal? with Tiny Tearaways queen Dr Tanya Byron. The four-part documentary sought to explore what constitutes “normal” behaviour in the areas of addiction, body image, spirituality and sex in a series that intelligently avoided asserting any standards of normality. The most fun part, though, was the way that Byron felt the need to add “but don’t have sex with children!” to her “do what you like” closing monologue. Hah. Britain thanks you for the reminder.

° Remember Dana White talking about the need for The Ultimate Fighter (Saturdays, Bravo) to be freshened up and saying that there would be plenty of changes this year? So far I'm not seeing it. Sure, people had to fight their way on to the show this time, but since then everything has been exactly the same and personally I'm not even convinced having these guys fight their way on to the show has helped to improve the calibre of fighter in any way. So yeah, it's same old, same old and you either like it or you don't.

The funny thing to me is that when looking at ideas to change the show they didn't look at the format of the reality side of the show. The fighting isn't top drawer, certainly, but the very nature of the sport means that with each fight you see something different. Watching the guys coexist in the house, however, has gotten tremendously stale. Each season it's the exact same story of naturally aggressive and restless guys playing ill-advised pranks, trashing the house and generally pissing each other off. If they could just find a way to break that particular tedium the show would be as good as new.

Eye, Eye

New Big Brother Eye. Exciting!

It's only a few weeks away now...

(Thursday 5th June, if you didn't know)

The speed, the strength, the heart to be a winner...

Okay, I know. I shouldn't like Gladiators (Sunday 6pm, Sky One) as much as I do. There's the Lycra, the rubber, the stupid names, the hammy performances, the occasionally mismatched games, the shrieking crowd - it's a ridiculous spectacle. But whether I'm just keyed into my inner-child or something, I was really excited to see it back last night and to see how Sky One would fare in bringing it back. Overall I don't think I was too disappointed.

It wasn't without faults. Cramming the show into a single hour meant that everything felt very rushed. New presenters Kirsty Gallagher and Ian Wright would hand over to John Anderson only for new commentator Alan Parry to speak over him, depriving us of the traditional cry of "Gladiators: Ready!". Essentially everything moved so fast that there was absolutely no time to savour any of the pomp and glamour that has always been such an integral part of the show.

Also, I'm not sure whether I imagined this or not, but I found some of the commentary a bit more risqué than I'd expect in a family show like this. Maybe Gladiators always had this edge and I was too young to realise, but hearing Alan Parry purr things like, "these ladies are going to get wet" and "these are ladies with big balls...so to speak" sounded a bit full-on to me. Maybe it was just first night carelessness, maybe I am the one with my mind in the gutter or maybe Alan Parry is a big old pervert. I think I’ll blame Parry for now.

Elsewhere everything seemed fine. The outfits, which I'd thought looked dull in all the advance promotional materials, looked fine in the greater context of the show, and all the new Gladiators seem to understand the need to imbue themselves with unique personalities; Oblivion and Spartan making themselves stand out the most. Best of all, though, the competition is just plain fun. All the games but the Eliminator - which now seems almost too demanding - have retained their all their original charm and the competition seems just a fierce as always. There's good sport, good clean violence and a nice dichotomy of dour British reality and outrageous campness. It's just good, dumb fun.

It's yet to be seen how committed Sky One are to the idea, and whether they're willing to make adjustments rather than pulling the plug should the show not hold its relatively decent first night audience (1.5 million), but I'm hopeful; the hiatus seems to have done the trick. It's not completely fresh, but it doesn't feel tired either. Until it does, I'm glad to have it back.

Aussie Soap Round-Up (w/e 9th May 2008)

° The reasons for Aden's anger problems were revealed this week when he accused his dad of turning a blind eye while he suffered systematic sexual abuse at the hands of his war-hero grandfather. The confrontation was a really fantastic, intense, claustrophobic scene. If soaps ever hope to achieve the illusion that we're peering in on people's real lives, it came pretty close here.

° Sally's exit is approaching far more rapidly than I was ready for and Friday's episode saw her give a teary farewell address. The fun thing about it was that it seemed very deliberately worded so it could be interpreted as being from Kate Ritchie herself. "I came here with no idea I'd ever stay here so long", "I'm moved to have known all the people here", "I hope a part of me always stays a part of this place", "it's time to move on to the next stage of my life" - it was definitely equal parts Kate and Sally. And that made it really nice. Allowing her to give such a speech - a shoot almost - really honoured her contribution and importance to the show.

° Rightly overshadowed by Sally's impending exit, Cassie actually did leave the Bay this week. Last week I said of Neighbours' Janae that she was a character to be missed: that's not the case here. Janae was a character that seemed to grow and learn from her experiences, while Cassie was an unbearably whiny character who repeated the same mistakes over and over (and hence forced us to repeatedly suffer through the same storyline template).

° As we left Home and Away this week, Sam had suffered a miscarriage and Jack had finally come to his senses and handed Johnny's letter in to the police. Thank jeebus. I am gagging for some forward movement in this story.

Elsewhere in Summer Bay: Colleen's joy at becoming a Stewart is hilarious, yes, but I still can't stand the whole idea. I can only imagine it's to give her some kind of anchor when Sally goes. Floss used her psychic powers to turn into Lassie Skippy(?) and discover the injured Aden in the collapsed diner.

° Steve went $80,000 over budget to win the house at auction and yet I get the feeling we're supposed to see Miranda as the bad guy in their little fights. I don't get that. Whose partner wouldn't be pissed off if they spent eighty thousand dollars they didn't have? But no: "oh, Miranda...you've got to relax" seems to be the overriding attitude. Harsh, no? Miranda's not the most loveable character, but so far I think she's a good one. Whether you like it or not at the time, she reacts to things in a believable way.

° The Toadie/Steph marriage saga is really boring. First of all, Steph is so dull I don’t want Toadie to marry her, but second of all it’s a story that just reeks of accommodating long-term characters. It’s vaguely interesting at best, and mainly it’s just making me hate Steph more.

° I was really enjoying Rosie’s troubles with the idea of getting pregnant until Friday’s episode, in which she held baby Chloe and looked all at ease with the world again. The way Rosie seemed genuinely afraid of motherhood combined with her serious career goals made me wonder whether Neighbours might have an interesting story lined up. I really, really hope the tide doesn’t turn so quickly as, “aww, I do have some maternal instincts after all!” They could go in so many other more exciting ways.

Elsewhere in Erinsborough: Libby and Rachel both went back to school to face taunts about student-teacher affairs. Frazer went all Batman to save the new Surfer/Reporter girl’s laptop. Elle had a full-on panic attack but continued to be a snarky bitch.

From Heroes to Zero

In the long wait the BBC forced us to endure for the second season of Heroes (Thursdays, BBC2), there was a lot of time to hear the voices of dissent gathering around it from across the pond. Ratings dropped dramatically and people hated it so much that their collective whining even earned them an apology from the show's creator; Tim Kring ultimately confessing to fans that he'd made some creative decisions he now regrets. Back when I read that I though it sounded crazy.

After all, though Season 1 of Heroes got off to a great start, since the cheerleader was first saved in 'Homecoming' (s01e09) the show never recaptured that same momentum or drive. What looked like being a very good show eventually settled into being a mediocre one. The strong start was enough to earn a full season's attention, certainly, but there was already cause for concern about the show's longevity. So, when I heard people railing against Season 2 I arrogantly assumed people had caught up to the fact that Heroes just isn't that good. I figured it was probably hovering around the same middling level of quality it was in the second half of Season 1 and people only judged it differently because all their "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World" excitement had finally worn off.

Boy, was I wrong to doubt their judgement. Three episodes in and quite frankly it has been a dreadful start.

It's actually hard to think of anything positive to say. The new crop of stories seem to range from the mildly uninteresting (Mohinder as a double agent, Maya and Alejandro coming to America, Hiro in the past) to the flat-out terrible (Peter in Ireland, Claire's romance). It feels like it's muddling along with no real purpose.

Claire's fledgling romance with West, in particular, is almost embarrassing television. "Are you a robot or an alien?” he asked within five minutes of meeting her. What a complete twat. And why is Claire suddenly so amazed by the depth of her power? Here's a girl who has come back from any number of ridiculous injuries (off the top of my head she's fallen from great heights, been set on fire, hit by a car and stabbed in the brain) and she even woke up during her own autopsy. Has the image of waking up and seeing all of her internal organs left her so quickly that the regeneration of her little toe is so mind-blowing? More importantly, does Kring expect the audience - who have long come to terms with the meaning of Claire's powers - to be particularly interested in her slowly dawning realisation of things we've long understood? The key to interesting character exploration, surely, is to have the character and the audience realising things on roughly the same schedule, the pace of which should be dictated by the show's events. In the case of Claire, the absence of any other real story makes her pondering ponderous, and it's a faultline that seems to be running through the entire show.

For a show that so obviously laboured through the second half of its first season, it's amazing to me that Kring and Co. could allow the show to be so slow out of the blocks this time. And now that Kring has conceded the show needs a new direction for its third year, it’s hard to be hopeful for what is yet to come in the second season.

Set Your Sky+: Lost

Lost (Season 4, Part 2)

Premiere

Tonight at 9:00pm on Sky One (plus Multi-Start)

Repeated

Monday 5th May at 10:00pm on Sky Two
Tuesday 6th May at 10:00pm on Sky Two
Wednesday 7th May at 11:00pm on Sky Two

I doubt anyone could forget, but I'd be remiss not to throw out a reminder anyway. Season 4, Part 2: no more stupid scheduling interruptions. Aww yeah...

Aussie Soap Round-Up (w/e 2nd May 2008)

° After so many weeks of tension Sam was finally exposed to be the manipulative murderess she is and yet thanks to the interminable wetness of Jack, by the end of the week we still hadn't approached anything resembling a resolution. Agghhh!!! Give me my proxy vengeance, damn it! It's good work by Home and Away, of course, but it does make me wonder about how long exactly a soap can drag out a single story before their audience gets bored. How many times will Sam be able to wriggle out of the net before I feel like I'm watching the many endings of LOTR: Return of the King? I wonder if the writers set themselves distinct limits or just play it by ear.

° On the flipside to all those high drama criminal shenanigans, Home and Away was oddly obsessed with religion this week, seemingly using the Bay's celebration of Easter to spread a message of tolerance to all. It was strange and kind of hilarious. Hearing Annie console Belle about her break-up with Drew by saying that she understands her pain because she gets similarly depressed at Easter - WHEN SHE THINKS ABOUT HOW JESUS DIED - was the funniest thing I've heard in ages. Almost surreal in its brilliance.

Elsewhere in Summer Bay: Jazz's failed seduction of Tony made her realise once and for all that she doesn't have a chance with him, which is good but slightly sad. Jazz is brilliant. Cassie told Summer Bay High all about her HIV. Morag hustled Aden for answers. Colleen found out she is a Stewart, which seems like complete insanity.

Janae (Eliza Taylor-Cotter) bids adieu to Neighbours

° Janae finally left the Manchild and his child - hooray! - but unfortunately for us that also meant leaving Ramsay Street and Neighbours altogether and moving up North with the family. Boooo. It's a shame. Janae's one of the few characters in the entire show that you could identify as having experienced legitimate, believable character development over the years. If you look at someone like Steph in comparison - she who hasn't changed in any real way in nearly 10 years - you can see what Janae achieved in her 3-year stint. From slutty obnoxious teen to admirable young lady to broken shell of a woman; Janae felt oddly human in a world full of talking cardboard cut-outs. She could be annoying sometimes, sure, but she's a character to be missed.

° In the land of Arch Metaphors, Bridget finally managed to "run free" as she let Pouch go to be groomed for release into the wild. As I was watching the episode the whole thing felt unbearably contrived, but by the end of it I was actually quite emotional when Bridget discarded her crutch. Yes, I am a sap.

Elsewhere in Erinsborough: Rachel seems like she is over the worst of her petulant streak, but I have a feeling I will be eating those words soon enough. Steph won't tell Toadie her divorce has come through. Carmella and Marco got back together after a really odd week. All those scenes of Marco at the vineyard were insane because (a) I don't care enough about Marco to see him when he's not in Erinsborough (b) the boss lady at that vineyard had a creepy vibe about her.

Set Your Sky+: Peep Show

Peep Show (Season 5)

Premiere
Tonight at 10:30pm on Channel 4

Repeated
Saturday 3rd May at 9:00pm on E4
Thursday 8th May at 11:35pm on Channel 4

I don't think there's too much to say that shouldn't already be obvious. Probably the best British sitcom of the moment is returning after perhaps the best wedding in sitcom history. Who could forget Jez pissing through the mezzanine or the fabulous image of both Sophie and Mark sobbing their way through their vows before Mark was finally granted his freedom?

Having capped off its excellent fourth season in such style makes it hard to doubt that the fifth will hold anything less. In fact, to not watch Peep Show as it enters its fifth year would, quite frankly, be an affront to British comedy and a total hypocrisy if you have ever sighed a sad sigh about great British sitcoms not lasting long enough. It's must-see. That's all there is to it.

Also, I must add that with a lead-in of Dirty Sexy Money (9pm) and the new series of Derren Brown: Trick or Treat (10pm), Channel 4 have finally assembled a Friday night schedule to rival those of yore. Exciting, no? And it's not even sullied by the presence of The Friday Night Project.

We have a good six weeks ahead of us.