Aussie Soap Round-Up (w/e 2nd May 2008)

° After so many weeks of tension Sam was finally exposed to be the manipulative murderess she is and yet thanks to the interminable wetness of Jack, by the end of the week we still hadn't approached anything resembling a resolution. Agghhh!!! Give me my proxy vengeance, damn it! It's good work by Home and Away, of course, but it does make me wonder about how long exactly a soap can drag out a single story before their audience gets bored. How many times will Sam be able to wriggle out of the net before I feel like I'm watching the many endings of LOTR: Return of the King? I wonder if the writers set themselves distinct limits or just play it by ear.

° On the flipside to all those high drama criminal shenanigans, Home and Away was oddly obsessed with religion this week, seemingly using the Bay's celebration of Easter to spread a message of tolerance to all. It was strange and kind of hilarious. Hearing Annie console Belle about her break-up with Drew by saying that she understands her pain because she gets similarly depressed at Easter - WHEN SHE THINKS ABOUT HOW JESUS DIED - was the funniest thing I've heard in ages. Almost surreal in its brilliance.

Elsewhere in Summer Bay: Jazz's failed seduction of Tony made her realise once and for all that she doesn't have a chance with him, which is good but slightly sad. Jazz is brilliant. Cassie told Summer Bay High all about her HIV. Morag hustled Aden for answers. Colleen found out she is a Stewart, which seems like complete insanity.

Janae (Eliza Taylor-Cotter) bids adieu to Neighbours

° Janae finally left the Manchild and his child - hooray! - but unfortunately for us that also meant leaving Ramsay Street and Neighbours altogether and moving up North with the family. Boooo. It's a shame. Janae's one of the few characters in the entire show that you could identify as having experienced legitimate, believable character development over the years. If you look at someone like Steph in comparison - she who hasn't changed in any real way in nearly 10 years - you can see what Janae achieved in her 3-year stint. From slutty obnoxious teen to admirable young lady to broken shell of a woman; Janae felt oddly human in a world full of talking cardboard cut-outs. She could be annoying sometimes, sure, but she's a character to be missed.

° In the land of Arch Metaphors, Bridget finally managed to "run free" as she let Pouch go to be groomed for release into the wild. As I was watching the episode the whole thing felt unbearably contrived, but by the end of it I was actually quite emotional when Bridget discarded her crutch. Yes, I am a sap.

Elsewhere in Erinsborough: Rachel seems like she is over the worst of her petulant streak, but I have a feeling I will be eating those words soon enough. Steph won't tell Toadie her divorce has come through. Carmella and Marco got back together after a really odd week. All those scenes of Marco at the vineyard were insane because (a) I don't care enough about Marco to see him when he's not in Erinsborough (b) the boss lady at that vineyard had a creepy vibe about her.